An old codger's comments

I have spent many years, and have run appropriate courses, trying to convince people that we can all sing. We are singing animals. Place your hand on your windpipe and feel your voice box. We all have one. Now speak and notice how the sound of your voice goes up and down, and gets louder or softer depending on what message you are putting across. Try asking a question, then making a statement. Notice how the sound changes depending on the message. You are controlling the pitch of your voice. Controlling pitch and loudness is singing. If you are still convinced you cannot sing, I will guess it is because, when you were young, some adult, maybe a parent or teacher, said you could not sing (‘tone deaf’ is a commonly used criticism) and to keep quiet. Because you were not encouraged to sing, you never had the chance to improve and, ever since, you have been afraid to try in case you made a fool of yourself.

The same blocks occur with writing, acting, art, public speaking and other personal activities. You don’t continue these activities at all if you have been told you are no good at them. Unfortunately, it is excellence that is acknowledged and rewarded, not persistence. A good example of the danger of this attitude is learning to swim. All children should learn to swim well for the sake of their safety, not because there is the occasional child who learns more quickly and can make better strokes, and rarely, perhaps, may become a champion.

Obviously there are skills that reach excellence through persistence and practice. Brain surgeons and barristers are not born with the right abilities that will enable them to reach the top of their professions. Athletes and professional sports players only succeed by regular practice and devotion to their career choices. My gripe is that by seeking out and encouraging only those who appear to have the potential to be excellent musicians, artists, writers and actors, and ignoring the rest, we fail to encourage the majority of the population to enjoy music, art, writing and acting for their own sake and personal satisfaction.

Since I lost my mobile phone and didn’t replace it, I can look at the world in a new light. One issue struck me today – the lack of respect by users of mobile phones. Remember when, as a couple, it was polite to acknowledge the presence of the other person and continue to interact? It used to be considered impolite to read alone, or carry out other absorbing activities while ignoring the presence of another. Now we see, commonly, couples where one person with a mobile phone is absorbed in talking, or checking for incoming calls and text messages, thereby completely excluding their companion. It would be equivalent to a threesome, where one of the three is debarred from the conversation.

And then there is the lack of consideration by companies, especially banks. This is a new development. For example, I cannot access my accounts at present because my bank insists I respond in a certain way to their text for the sake of security. Did they ask if I have a mobile phone? Of course not, it was assumed.

And how about the lack of manners in meetings, including Parliament? Important business is being discussed and yet several participants are ignoring the dialogue and reading the messages on their phones. It seems that texting has become an addiction as powerful as alcohol or gambling. It is sad to see a group of friends at a cafe or meeting in a park, not talking to each other, but all consulting their phones. Perhaps that is the only way they can interact.

I thought when I retired that there would be unlimited time to do many things. However, it seems that the pressures of work have been replaced by a myriad of other demands, and time seems to slip away in fulfilling the new obligations. Let’s look at them:

Medical One expects old age to reveal a few extra faults in the body, but not take so much time in fixing or ameliorating them. The first expectation is for regular blood and other tests. Each time this involves a visit to the doctor, then to a pathology service, then back to the doctor, maybe then to a specialist and possibly more tests and revisiting the doctor. There will then be regular visits to a pharmacist to purchase the prescribed medicines, and back to the doctor to renew the prescriptions. The fact that one is old also demands further yearly medical tests to allow one to drive a car, and, of course, a biannual driving test.

Also with the medical intrusions, there are the regular visits to the podiatrist to cut nails – I can’t get down to my feet any more, and to the doctor, yet again, for the recommended regular vaccinations.

House It seems as one deteriorates, so does where one lives. But as age progresses and fitness fades, so does the ability to carry out simple repairs. And, of course, many house repairs necessitate climbing a ladder, which is not recommended for ancients. So it’s off to finding workmen to do the tasks which were easily accomplished by myself in earlier days. They need to visit to assess what needs to be done, then provide a quote, then fit the job into their schedule. It all takes time. Can you still clean windows? Cut the lawn? Mend the fence? Paint the roof? Prune the fruit trees? Spread mulch? Weed the flower beds?

And then there are the regular demands to pay Council rates and insure the property, and service, check, license and insure the car. Forget cleaning it.

Technology I have mentioned my current IT incompetence before. But it does seem that as one gets older, modern technology becomes more and more complex. What do you do when your computer or TV refuses to work? Or the dishwasher starts eating glasses? Or the clothes washer won’t open? What is causing the general power switch to trip in the fuse box? And then there are the continual worries about whether one should be on Facebook, or Tick Tock, or Twitter, and how one is not keeping up with modern society.

When I retired, friends said that now I would have the time to walk, to paint, to write, to sing and so on. Fat chance! I can’t even keep up with my friends.

One would think that life would get easier after retirement. With no obligation to travel daily and deliver at work, no family to look after and no obligation to talk to obnoxious people. Plenty of time to pursue hobbies, to read and exercise. What went wrong? It seems the pressure is still there, but different. Here are some examples:

The Aldi scrum. I hate shopping at Aldis. Firstly, presuming one follows the aisles from the entrance, there seems to be no logic in the way the goods are distributed. I have to buy my fruit and vegetables first, before crushing them in the trolley by heavier groceries. And the frozen items, which are met with later, are well separated from others such as butter, meat, cheese and milk which would benefit from being together at lower temperatures. It’s no use carefully placing similar items in separate bags, because once you reach the checkout aisle they all have to be bundled rapidly onto the belt so as not to delay the shoppers behind who have trolleys piled high, and because the belt itself never stops moving. And then there is the problem of the checkout itself, where items are scanned and registered at a frantic rate and have to be grabbed and stuffed back into the trolley. Too slow removing scanned items at the checkout? Then there is the embarrassment of them being sidelined and slowing down the next bulk buyer. And all this without having to spend some time looking at the bargains in the central aisles to make sure you have not overlooked that piece of equipment which you hadn’t realised you needed despite never having possessed one before.

Phone stress You probably have a mobile phone. I did, before I lost it. What a relief! Before, the expectation was that I carry it with me at all times and answer it immediately it rang. No matter if I was driving, walking, napping, out in the garden, enjoying a quiet coffee, or on the loo. “. “You took an awful long time to answer my call”. “Why did you buy that? You should have rung/texted me to check exactly what I wanted” ” Why didn’t you reply to my text?” My fat fingers do not work at the same rate, or are as accurate typing the tiny keys as a teenager with nail extensions. My neighbour uses her phone to carry out all sorts of activities, including researching and storing information. She has to be constantly checking its presence and panics when it goes missing. I have solved this modern cause of stress. I have not replaced my mobile phone but purchased a home phone with an ability to record messages, which I will read when it suits me.

Australia is coping with widespread disasters – mainly floods at present. Previously, it was the the devastation caused by bush fires. The cost of the damage to houses and household property is inevitably borne by the owners as they are seen as responsible for building in areas that are at risk of flooding or surrounded by flammable vegetation. There are houses close to the coast that are affected by subsidence and, because of global warming, liable to disappear at the next high tide.

But hang on, who is actually responsible? Before houses and businesses are constructed they need approval from local authorities, including where they will be situated. Using the floods as an example, how and why did the owners get permission to build on a flood plain – the area next to a river which is known to have flooded in the past? We have a controlled society, with particular authorities responsible for various areas of public activity. Having handed these responsibilities to governments, surely we should be able hold them to account if they make mistakes? Why should an owner have to face the financial burden of replacing possessions ruined by flood water, perhaps even rebuilding the house, when official approval was given to build on land next to a river which was known to have flooded previously?

There are many other examples where authorities take on the responsibility to control aspects of social behaviour, but claim to be not liable if they make a mistake. The recent robo-debt fiasco is a classic example, where many people were automatically billed for large amounts of debt which they had not incurred. Yes the money is eventually being refunded, but will there be any compensation for the emotional stress involved? Authority to control aspects of human behaviour should always be accompanied by the legal responsibility to make amends when mistakes are made.

The recent hacking of two large public companies, putting the personal data of many members of the public at risk of blackmail, is a further example of taking control without accepting full responsibility for security. No authority without liability.

Recently, I lost my mobile phone. I have been without one for the past few weeks and have no regrets. I am thinking of starting a new organisation with the title MFS, the letters standing for Mobile Free Society.

Owning a mobile phone automatically puts one in chains. Think of all the obligations involved. Firstly, not losing it. Whenever I went out of the house I had to remember to take my phone with me. If I forgot, there was the worry of not being available to receive calls, and the obligation, later, to reply to all those accursed, accusing, text messages. Then I had to remember at bedtime to put it on my bedside table. Secondly, when I went out I had to remember to take my phone, then regularly check it was still in my pocket (I think the old one fell out somewhere, sometime, and whoever found it, used or sold it, instead of ringing and asking me to collect it). And when I had it with me, I had to hear the ringtones, wherever I was, grab it and reply promptly. ” I called you but you did not answer” was a common accusation, the caller failing to understand I was on the loo, or eating, or strap-hanging on the train, or driving. How many times have you dropped your phone and cracked the glass in your frantic effort to reply in time? Thirdly, the problem of keeping it charged up. I expect you, like me, can never remember where you have left the charging cable and when it was last charged. Fourthly, the latest annoyance is the new habit of banks and other serious organisations, for the sake of their security, asking one to read a code on one’s mobile phone and reply with it, before allowing any transactions. Some of my friends use their phones in a variety of ways, including finding and storing information and pictures, as well as recording financial and contact details. This is putting all one’s eggs in the same basket. The thought of losing such a resource, for me, would be too stressful.

All these irritations are of course minor compared with the problem faced by we old codgers, in using a mobile phone effectively. The myriad of apps, the overabundance of mostly unnecessary uses, the need to stroke the face in a particular direction to make it work, and, of course, the total irrationality of trying to text using a keyboard designed with letters barely large enough to be read and tapped by an 8-year-old.

The feeling of freedom – of not owning a mobile phone, is wonderful. If I need to have a conversation with anyone, I have a home phone. If I want to check the weather forecast, or explore something in depth, I will use my computer, TV or a library, and I am looking forward to many more real live conversations.

In my previous blog I pointed out that capitalism works for those citizens with the opportunity to earn more than a living wage and, therefore accumulate extra funds to invest; and against those who earn a wage or salary. But there are further inequities to consider. A just society looks after those who cannot afford to look after themselves. And there are many aspects to this care. They need a public health system with free access to hospitals and doctors, free dental and psychiatric services, police services, legal aid, ambulances, childcare, public schools, retirement homes, a public broadcaster and so on. These services are paid for by taxing businesses and those who earn more than a living wage.

However, the concept of providing free services for those otherwise unable to afford them is in direct conflict with the capitalist beliefs that everything has a price, all services should be paid for, and that competition is the best way to keep down costs. There is also the mantra that ‘anyone can make it (to affluence) if they try’. Suggest that to a solo parent living in rented accommodation and raising children while holding down an underpaid job or two. Capitalism and its accompanying beliefs are at the basis of the reluctance of right-wing governments to provide adequate funds to support public organisations. A classic example at present is the 3x difference between the Government support for private school students and that for public school students. Private schools boast theatres, halls, laboratories and indoor sports facilities, while many public schools still house their pupils in temporary classrooms. One of my children attended a public school where morning assembly was held in a covered playground with the children sitting on the floor.

The reluctance of right wing governments to adequately fund free services for those members of the population who are not in a position to pay for them, and the penny-pinching that accompanies this attitude, results in inferior public services. Add to this the fact that wage earners do not have the time, energy or spare cash to join political organisations, and to promote their needs, and nothing changes.

I’ll bet you feel helpless like me – that there is nothing we can do to stop this war. We can only sit back and watch events while hoping it will end soon.

But perhaps there is something we can do. Remember Covid? Which part of the daily news impacted you most? Not the number of cases of infection, nor the percentage of the population who had been vaccinated, or boosted. It was the number of people who had died. If we want to shame Putin into stopping the invasion of Ukraine, we need the whole world to be aware how many unnecessary deaths he has caused and is causing. Deaths of ordinary civilians, adults and children, as well as the deaths of soldiers, both Ukrainian and Russian.

It will take a visual image that has massive impact and is constantly updated. Something much more powerful than a graph or a collection of hearts stuck on a wall. Perhaps red crosses painted on the roads outside the Kremlin, and/or outside the UN building or the Vatican. We have seen too many views of collections of Russian tanks and armoured vehicles taken by satellites from above, but perhaps we could use the same viewpoint to show the accumulating deaths – how about crosses of red painted on a snowfield? It has to be dramatic and capable of being seen from above and shown daily around the World on TV.

I am not a fan of Facebook or similar media outlets, but perhaps someone with the know-how and imagination can think of how to use the media in a dramatic way to bring the World’s attention to the unnecessary and tragic deaths in this unnecessary war – Putin’s war.

The Covid epidemic has highlighted aspects of society which have been ignored previously. Of critical importance is the contribution of the many citizens who depend on a wage or salary. Until Covid became widespread, these workers were overlooked. Now, only because there is a shortage of staff, and we are all at risk, do we hear and care about the outstanding services provided by nurses, aged-care workers, ambulance drivers, garbage collectors, council workers, mailmen, police and so on. When the economy is strong, and public health and other services are not under stress, the needs of these people are ignored. And yet, society would collapse without them.

Capitalism favours and encourages those who are in the position to make extra money, and entrepreneurs are admired and rewarded for their achievements. But capitalism has little to say about those workers who deliver an honest day’s work for a set reward. Furthermore, employers strive to keep down the wages of their employees, as these costs are set against their profits. The majority of people in society, ie wage and salaried workers, do not have the opportunity to make extra money, invest, or even save. And this situation is exacerbated when there are children to rear and dependent relatives to support. An honest day’s work invariably results in an income which is not enough, or barely sufficient, to cover the costs of accommodation, food, clothing, transport, education and communication. There is no time or opportunity to save for the future, buy shares, increase skills or seek a better paying job.

It’s time to reevaluate the contribution made by those workers who prop up modern society and reward them appropriately. The next time you turn on a tap, flush the toilet, open a letter, put out a dustbin, travel on a train or tram, drive a highway, check out at a supermarket, buy a coffee, turn on a switch, use the internet, receive a vaccination, and so on, think about the people who made all these actions possible, and who will continue to do so, diligently and honestly, without public recognition, and for a minimal wage. Then compare what they regularly do for you with that offered by bankers, real estate agents, lawyers, accountants, insurance agents and politicians. It is easy when comfortably off to overlook all those who continue to provide for our comfort.

As an old codger who has survived more than eight decades, it only struck me recently that we spend too much time in anticipation. I even wrote a poem about it (see below). It seems to be more important to plan, prepare for, and dwell on future events and to find most of our satisfaction in waiting for them to happen. Even children are expected to find happiness in consideration of the coming occasion, whether birthdays, Christmas or outings. However, if this is taken to the extreme, too often the actual event is a disappointment.

Add to this an article in a recent edition of New Scientist on Stress, which explains there are both benefits and bad outcomes depending on your mindset. Stress does not have to result in poor physical or mental health, it just depends on how we view it. It can be as simple as the contrast between: I am unhappy at having to carry out this task, and I will delay and worry about it until it is done, compared with I am going to start straight away, give it my best efforts, and enjoy the satisfaction of having achieved it.

What is common to both scenarios is the over-emphasis on anticipation. In dwelling on future events or demanding tasks, we are failing to live in the now. All too often we spend time thinking and worrying about the future, when there can be much satisfaction in enjoying what is happening in the present.

Always waiting

I suppose I was waiting to be born and my mother was waiting for me to arrive. Then I cried ‘cos I was waiting to be fed, and she was waiting for me to stop. All my life I have been waiting – to got to school, to leave school, to go to university, to graduate, to start my first job, to make some money. Then I was waiting for the right girl to come along, to make love, to be loved and had to wait for the wedding, for our first child, then the second, and so on. Then we had to wait for the divorce, and I had to wait for the money, and then wait for my new home. Waiting for retirement took a long time, and now I suppose I am waiting to die. But hang on, what’s all this waiting for? Is living merely anticipating? What can hold us in the present? To be, or not to be, now, is the question. Only in being, in sensing, thinking and feeling; only in loving and caring, fully aware of body and world, can we set aside the waiting. Now I am lost in this poem – unwaiting.